My First post of 2008

Listen and hear my words, for i have sojourned in the land outside of ye blogsphere and i return to you with..........................not very much at all in fact, nope i haven't written anything new, i've given it very little thought in fact.............but can you blame me???? after a while i just got the impression i wasn't really talking to anyone, in fact i'm not sure i'm talking to anybody now, but i'll post a few things from the unpublished archive, and we'll see what happens.

I hope it didn't dissapoint.

As you may have guessed

i am so bored with blogger, my new internet addiction is mobile website itsmy at wap.itsmy.com enjoy, or whatever.

movies coming out in the cinema that i am strangely interested in seeing, probably not while they're actually in the cinema but you know maybe when

they come out on DVD or more than likely in 5 or 6 years when they put them on TV.

Bee movie

And

Fred Claus

Now cower before the mighty mightyness of this post!

The funny graffiti plague

In a car park.

On a library!

Next to a bus stop!! taunting the glumly waiting commuters!!!

The replacement blog asks? Will this madness never end!!!!

Super what now..........

I'll say it again.

Jesus says...........

AHHHRRRRRG! THERE'S A WHEEL ON ME HEAD!!

....................................?

Create your own Friend Quiz here

Bang bang bang

bang.............. i want some attention.

Picture exclusives: Racist BNP advertises at Wimbledon tenis finals.

The Replacement Blog asks:

Is this freedom of speech gone mad?

Pieces of film memerabilia that i would love to own.

From 'the shining' the red jacket worn by Jack Nicholson's character, the photograph right at the end with Jack Nicholson's character in the front row, the huge model of the maze, and all of those 'all work and no play make jack a dull boy' bits of paper.

From 'Hellraiser' The bloody mattress, the puzzle boxes, the column of souls or whatever it was called from the third film the one that they have 'Pin Head' in obviously it was hollow so the actor, Doug Bradley, would be able to stand in it, just think it would be really cool to stand in it, though i think they may have destroyed it in the filming, and of course all of the cenobite costumes from all of the movies but particulaly 1 to 3.

Thats it for now

Buzz Whirrr buzz buzz.

Just nearly run over by an electric car...... well i'm assuming it was an electric car it was buzzing and whiring like a childs wind up toy so i'm assuming it was, i tell you this their going to have to make them sound an awfull lot meaner before they really catch on.
Still it could have been worse i know someones who's friends aunt WAS run over by a HOBNOB van......... course it actually killed her........ and yet some how its still funny, we used to joke that they should cattered the funeral free of charge to make up for it,,,,,,,,,, though maybe such an offer would have been seen as being obnoxious insulting and hoghly insensitive......but damn it would have been funny and i do love my hobnobs.
Oh and the van was ACTUALLY shaped like a hobnob.
The electric car that nearly ran me over was just shaped like a cream coloured mini.

Pulling the trigger: the gun as sorcerors wand.

You pull the trigger and your just open hand becomes a fist, try it, put your hand out, close three of the fingers leaving the fourth just curved round a bit at the top, close it, and your making a fist, there is a power in this, you point a hand, make a fist and bad shit happens to the guy you point it at. MAGIC, that’s what this must have seemed like to those who first discovered it, and so it was for those who first made gunpowder would have been alchemists, men of magic and of science, and though I cannot speak of science, magic is always addictive; what’s more when gunpowder was first made, the urine of priests was used in the process, so gunpowder and by extension guns became holy and right and correct and of the path of god, would that they had seen the demon but they did not, for magic is always beguiling.

Exerts from a recent essay i wrote for my retail skills course. pt1

Body language, by which I mean things such as posture, stance, positioning of arms and so on and so forth. These can tell someone a lot about what a person really thinks when they are saying something for instance they could be saying I love you” but their body language may tell you something else.

Talking, i.e. direct communication, standing in front of someone and imparting information to them through a complex series of organized sounds called words.
Non verbal communication, similar to talking in terms of its directness but less complex, it basically constitutes someone making sounds and noises in order to indicate something such as grunting to imply aggression, disdain, or even amusement, sighing to indicate boredom, tiredness so on and so forth.
Gestures, similar to non verbal communication but visual rather than auditory, this can include such things as shrugging your shoulders in order to indicate that you do not know or in fact do not care, and brandishing a clenched fist to indicate any number of things such as aggression annoyance or even, as is the case in movements such as communism / socialism and anti - fascism, solidarity.
Actions, like all previously mentioned methods of communication, this is direct, face to face, and often toe to toe; however unlike the previously mentioned methods this one is not primarily a method of communications though it is likely to speak louder, for instance telling someone that you hate them is very direct and leaves little room for misinterpretation but seeing as some people are big headed and / or dumb enough to believe that everyone is incapable of feeling anything but love or at the very least compassion for them, just saying that you hate them won’t cut the mustard, but if you try and strangle them then this leaves no room for doubt or naiveté on anyone’s part. Likewise anyone can say I love you, but kissing someone hugging them or doing something for them will make your words sound far more convincing.

go forth and check out

Dude called vkrq @
www.blogger.com/profile/08399386800094019662
not sure whether its somesort of secret code, or toaist poetry, or just someone who isn't very good at english, but damn its interesting.

Speaking with/of Authority.

The concept, or at least the word, authority is often, in fact lets cut the crap and the benefit of the doubt pleasantries, the word authority is ALWAYS misunderstood. It is taken to mean a person or group having control, usually legal control, over something or even everything. It means nothing of the sort, the concept of authority has nothing to do with control, governing or any sort of enforcement, it is to do with authorship, it is a creative act and has nothing to do with any sort of power game, it is to do with making the rules, and if you have to resort to governing or any sort of enforcement then you’ve already lost, you have failed as the authority, the receptacle of authorship, and you should be farmed off, and try your hand at different sort of authorship. Many politicians have learnt that and done so, before his death former government minister Robin Cook had written several best selling thrillers, many more however find a middle ground, stay in government and just become terrific liars. They may have failed as the authority but they almost make up for it by getting away with lies that are often quite outrageous, although this actually has nothing to do with their’, as I have already said, non existent authority, quite the opposite actually, people have so little respect for politicians that we just assume that they’re always lying, the upside of this is that when they do lie, which is much, but not all of the time, we fully expect it, and so we just accept it as something that is an unfortunate but necessary part of being a politician, and that we can’t do anything about it. Through such motions democracy is made null.

Alternatively, and there should always be an alternative.

If a celebrity is someone who is celebrated, and a celebrator is someone who celebrates, then it can be said that if an author is someone who writes, then an authority is someone who is written.

a short message from our sponsor: making an issue out of pointless crap, for the benifit of all concerned.

just got this msg from Richard at ePerks, and i quote "Use your car First Name to get some quick cash" hmmm for a start i love his nickname for me 'first name' its just so witty, you can tell that he really knows me hmmmmm quick money using your car, i know get a job as an assasin and use your car, damn it richard you read my mind.......... oh its one of these take out a loan against the value of your car and when you get behind on repayments they take your car.......... for more information e-mail richard repeatedly at greatoffers@eperks.co.uk, have fun.......... oh you guys.

Saying for the day, month, year or other longer period of time depending on when i come accross another saying, like it, latch on to it, and decide to

put it on here.

You don't make a piece of string longer by cutting off one end and tying it to the other.

Phrase for the day, month, year or other longer period of time depending on when i come accross another phrase, like it, latch on to it, and decide to

put it on here.

Don't get bent outta shape.

The diary entry that tried to kill me part 5

For legal reasons i must inform you that everything after and i quote 'while watching one of the CSI's' has been added at a later date and as such is not a true part of this diary entry.

As allways some names have been changed to protect the innocent, the guilty, and myself from being sued by either of them, though of course any speculation as to which of these groups i fit into will be met with swift legal reprisals.

Internet phone to the rescue

While we were in the park we decided that we would go to the summer exhibition at the royal academy, seeing as this is the only thing we ever go to the royal academy for and it of course only happens once every year thank fuck, we of course could not remember where the damned thing was so internet phone, mine not Agent Mulders, to the rescue, I went on there website which not knowing the address of It got to it via the white cube’s website which had a article about the Chapman brothers [Jake and the now aptly named Dinos] piece in the forecourt, a series of massive dinosaurs [that’s why Dinos is aptly named] made out of very thick sheets of metal, entitled ‘the meek shall inherit the earth but not the mineral rights’ liked the look of the piece, looked forward to seeing it and was greatly amused [or at least somewhat amused] by the title, though interestingly at that point in time was entirely un-aware of what the term ‘mineral rights’ meant, found out, quite serendipitously a few days later, while watching one of the CSI’s, I believe that it may have been CSI Miami, though it could have been the original one set in Las Vegas but i'm fairly certain it wasn't CSI Bromley, CSI Ancient Greece, CSI New York, or CSI Moon Base Alpha.

Nickname a nack noooo but what does it mean I hear you cry well fear not for I do………… And theeeee winner for worst, longest, and most pointless title

for a blog post goes toooooooooooo (drum roll) oh my god it’s the replacement blog, with nickname a nack noooo but what does it mean I hear you cry well fear not for I do.

Prelude
This post was extracted under painful torture from conversations I have had with the entity you know as Phenomenon, I will not go into details as to the nature of such entity’s real name if such entity does in fact have a name a question I will not go into further as on all such matters relating to the possible existence or non existence of said entity’s name I have been sworn into secrecy under pain of death…………………………….. enjoy.

It all started one dark and stormy evening when...........

The name, Nick or rather Nicholas actually means demonic or demon like it derives from the German nickel, or some such spelling, meaning demon which of course is also the name of a coin and indeed the metal (copper nickel) from whence it is made. The metal was so called because it was found, when first mined (presumably by copper miners, i.e. miners of copper) to contain no copper, but presumably looks similar enough to copper to fool someone, and so they likened it to a demon as it was as if it was in effect ‘lying’, (though obviously, seeing as the substance, like all substances, is in fact an inanimate object, and as such can have no intentions, lying is not the right word). So in any case, when you give someone a nickname it basically means you are giving them a false or ‘lying’ name, (though of course a name, though not an actual object certainly has similar properties of inanimatacy and as such can have no intentions so once again lying is of course the wrong word) ............ .................................................................................... either that, or your giving them their demon name MWA HA HA HA ............................................................................ ......................................................................... which is pretty cool.