Pulling the trigger: the gun as sorcerors wand.

You pull the trigger and your just open hand becomes a fist, try it, put your hand out, close three of the fingers leaving the fourth just curved round a bit at the top, close it, and your making a fist, there is a power in this, you point a hand, make a fist and bad shit happens to the guy you point it at. MAGIC, that’s what this must have seemed like to those who first discovered it, and so it was for those who first made gunpowder would have been alchemists, men of magic and of science, and though I cannot speak of science, magic is always addictive; what’s more when gunpowder was first made, the urine of priests was used in the process, so gunpowder and by extension guns became holy and right and correct and of the path of god, would that they had seen the demon but they did not, for magic is always beguiling.

Exerts from a recent essay i wrote for my retail skills course. pt1

Body language, by which I mean things such as posture, stance, positioning of arms and so on and so forth. These can tell someone a lot about what a person really thinks when they are saying something for instance they could be saying I love you” but their body language may tell you something else.

Talking, i.e. direct communication, standing in front of someone and imparting information to them through a complex series of organized sounds called words.
Non verbal communication, similar to talking in terms of its directness but less complex, it basically constitutes someone making sounds and noises in order to indicate something such as grunting to imply aggression, disdain, or even amusement, sighing to indicate boredom, tiredness so on and so forth.
Gestures, similar to non verbal communication but visual rather than auditory, this can include such things as shrugging your shoulders in order to indicate that you do not know or in fact do not care, and brandishing a clenched fist to indicate any number of things such as aggression annoyance or even, as is the case in movements such as communism / socialism and anti - fascism, solidarity.
Actions, like all previously mentioned methods of communication, this is direct, face to face, and often toe to toe; however unlike the previously mentioned methods this one is not primarily a method of communications though it is likely to speak louder, for instance telling someone that you hate them is very direct and leaves little room for misinterpretation but seeing as some people are big headed and / or dumb enough to believe that everyone is incapable of feeling anything but love or at the very least compassion for them, just saying that you hate them won’t cut the mustard, but if you try and strangle them then this leaves no room for doubt or naiveté on anyone’s part. Likewise anyone can say I love you, but kissing someone hugging them or doing something for them will make your words sound far more convincing.

go forth and check out

Dude called vkrq @
www.blogger.com/profile/08399386800094019662
not sure whether its somesort of secret code, or toaist poetry, or just someone who isn't very good at english, but damn its interesting.

Speaking with/of Authority.

The concept, or at least the word, authority is often, in fact lets cut the crap and the benefit of the doubt pleasantries, the word authority is ALWAYS misunderstood. It is taken to mean a person or group having control, usually legal control, over something or even everything. It means nothing of the sort, the concept of authority has nothing to do with control, governing or any sort of enforcement, it is to do with authorship, it is a creative act and has nothing to do with any sort of power game, it is to do with making the rules, and if you have to resort to governing or any sort of enforcement then you’ve already lost, you have failed as the authority, the receptacle of authorship, and you should be farmed off, and try your hand at different sort of authorship. Many politicians have learnt that and done so, before his death former government minister Robin Cook had written several best selling thrillers, many more however find a middle ground, stay in government and just become terrific liars. They may have failed as the authority but they almost make up for it by getting away with lies that are often quite outrageous, although this actually has nothing to do with their’, as I have already said, non existent authority, quite the opposite actually, people have so little respect for politicians that we just assume that they’re always lying, the upside of this is that when they do lie, which is much, but not all of the time, we fully expect it, and so we just accept it as something that is an unfortunate but necessary part of being a politician, and that we can’t do anything about it. Through such motions democracy is made null.

Alternatively, and there should always be an alternative.

If a celebrity is someone who is celebrated, and a celebrator is someone who celebrates, then it can be said that if an author is someone who writes, then an authority is someone who is written.

a short message from our sponsor: making an issue out of pointless crap, for the benifit of all concerned.

just got this msg from Richard at ePerks, and i quote "Use your car First Name to get some quick cash" hmmm for a start i love his nickname for me 'first name' its just so witty, you can tell that he really knows me hmmmmm quick money using your car, i know get a job as an assasin and use your car, damn it richard you read my mind.......... oh its one of these take out a loan against the value of your car and when you get behind on repayments they take your car.......... for more information e-mail richard repeatedly at greatoffers@eperks.co.uk, have fun.......... oh you guys.

Saying for the day, month, year or other longer period of time depending on when i come accross another saying, like it, latch on to it, and decide to

put it on here.

You don't make a piece of string longer by cutting off one end and tying it to the other.

Phrase for the day, month, year or other longer period of time depending on when i come accross another phrase, like it, latch on to it, and decide to

put it on here.

Don't get bent outta shape.

The diary entry that tried to kill me part 5

For legal reasons i must inform you that everything after and i quote 'while watching one of the CSI's' has been added at a later date and as such is not a true part of this diary entry.

As allways some names have been changed to protect the innocent, the guilty, and myself from being sued by either of them, though of course any speculation as to which of these groups i fit into will be met with swift legal reprisals.

Internet phone to the rescue

While we were in the park we decided that we would go to the summer exhibition at the royal academy, seeing as this is the only thing we ever go to the royal academy for and it of course only happens once every year thank fuck, we of course could not remember where the damned thing was so internet phone, mine not Agent Mulders, to the rescue, I went on there website which not knowing the address of It got to it via the white cube’s website which had a article about the Chapman brothers [Jake and the now aptly named Dinos] piece in the forecourt, a series of massive dinosaurs [that’s why Dinos is aptly named] made out of very thick sheets of metal, entitled ‘the meek shall inherit the earth but not the mineral rights’ liked the look of the piece, looked forward to seeing it and was greatly amused [or at least somewhat amused] by the title, though interestingly at that point in time was entirely un-aware of what the term ‘mineral rights’ meant, found out, quite serendipitously a few days later, while watching one of the CSI’s, I believe that it may have been CSI Miami, though it could have been the original one set in Las Vegas but i'm fairly certain it wasn't CSI Bromley, CSI Ancient Greece, CSI New York, or CSI Moon Base Alpha.

Nickname a nack noooo but what does it mean I hear you cry well fear not for I do………… And theeeee winner for worst, longest, and most pointless title

for a blog post goes toooooooooooo (drum roll) oh my god it’s the replacement blog, with nickname a nack noooo but what does it mean I hear you cry well fear not for I do.

Prelude
This post was extracted under painful torture from conversations I have had with the entity you know as Phenomenon, I will not go into details as to the nature of such entity’s real name if such entity does in fact have a name a question I will not go into further as on all such matters relating to the possible existence or non existence of said entity’s name I have been sworn into secrecy under pain of death…………………………….. enjoy.

It all started one dark and stormy evening when...........

The name, Nick or rather Nicholas actually means demonic or demon like it derives from the German nickel, or some such spelling, meaning demon which of course is also the name of a coin and indeed the metal (copper nickel) from whence it is made. The metal was so called because it was found, when first mined (presumably by copper miners, i.e. miners of copper) to contain no copper, but presumably looks similar enough to copper to fool someone, and so they likened it to a demon as it was as if it was in effect ‘lying’, (though obviously, seeing as the substance, like all substances, is in fact an inanimate object, and as such can have no intentions, lying is not the right word). So in any case, when you give someone a nickname it basically means you are giving them a false or ‘lying’ name, (though of course a name, though not an actual object certainly has similar properties of inanimatacy and as such can have no intentions so once again lying is of course the wrong word) ............ .................................................................................... either that, or your giving them their demon name MWA HA HA HA ............................................................................ ......................................................................... which is pretty cool.

Shock horror irony overload

PETA thats, for those how don't know and a few who do but have forgotten, people for the ethical treatment of animals which really should make their abreviated name PFTETOA which would presumebly be pronounced pef tee toe frankly i prefere that, i mean would you rather be a member of PETA or PFTETOA, go on say it in your head you know i'm right, but thats enough funny buisiness PFTETOA, PETA, whatever these sick barstards call themselves call themselves, has after years of haranging us about animal cruelty revealed that it was all just a sick joke, for i have learn't that in a new and upcoming advertisment they will encourage you to pay someone, a "vetenarian" if that is his real name, to gass your belloved pet and stick a knife in them to prevent the poor creature from have kids of its own, have they know shame, no they have even less than that, they call it ABC (pronounced ab book) animal birth controll, the facist pigs.

As a result of this i encourage all of you animal lovers out there to hold my hands and join me in the formational act of PFTPOCTP (pronounced pef fet tep poc co top) people for the propogation of cruelty towards PETA.

And a new cruelty free era is born.

Have no dobt my freinds, future generations will look upon this day and say it was our greatest hour.

What??!?

I've just spent the best part of an hour trying to attach a few pictures to an E-mail.

I reakon someone must of typed google into google cos the internet is broken.

Either that or the network at my local library is broken, maybe some types fullwellcross library into their seach engine.

All heil the IT crowd.

Damn i wish there were more fonts on here.

Recently [ August - September ] i have found worthwhile watching.........

Confessions Of A Trickbaby
06-Sep-2007
11-Sep-2007
History Of Violence
03-Sep-2007
06-Sep-2007
David Bowie - Origins Of A Starman
03-Sep-2007
06-Sep-2007
The Hunger
28-Aug-2007
03-Sep-2007
For Your Consideration
24-Aug-2007
28-Aug-2007
Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse
24-Aug-2007
28-Aug-2007
Hannibal Rising
17-Aug-2007
21-Aug-2007
Lady In The Water
17-Aug-2007
21-Aug-2007

Recently [ August - September ] i have enjoyed watching..........

Confessions Of A Trickbaby
06-Sep-2007
11-Sep-2007
History Of Violence
03-Sep-2007
06-Sep-2007
David Bowie - Origins Of A Starman
03-Sep-2007
06-Sep-2007
Extras - Series 2 (Two Discs) (Disk 2)
28-Aug-2007
03-Sep-2007
The Hunger
28-Aug-2007
03-Sep-2007
For Your Consideration
24-Aug-2007
28-Aug-2007
Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse
24-Aug-2007
28-Aug-2007
Extras - Series 2 (Two Discs) (Disk 1)
21-Aug-2007
24-Aug-2007
The Producers
21-Aug-2007
24-Aug-2007
Hannibal Rising
17-Aug-2007
21-Aug-2007
Lady In The Water
17-Aug-2007
21-Aug-2007
House Of The Dead 2 - Dead Aim
06-Aug-2007
09-Aug-2007

recently [august - september] i have been mostly watching.............

Confessions Of A Trickbaby
06-Sep-2007
11-Sep-2007
History Of Violence
03-Sep-2007
06-Sep-2007
David Bowie - Origins Of A Starman
03-Sep-2007
06-Sep-2007
Extras - Series 2 (Two Discs) (Disk 2)
28-Aug-2007
03-Sep-2007
The Hunger
28-Aug-2007
03-Sep-2007
For Your Consideration
24-Aug-2007
28-Aug-2007
Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse
24-Aug-2007
28-Aug-2007
Extras - Series 2 (Two Discs) (Disk 1)
21-Aug-2007
24-Aug-2007
The Producers
21-Aug-2007
24-Aug-2007
Hannibal Rising
17-Aug-2007
21-Aug-2007
Lady In The Water
17-Aug-2007
21-Aug-2007
The Pursuit Of Happyness
06-Aug-2007
09-Aug-2007
House Of The Dead 2 - Dead Aim
06-Aug-2007
09-Aug-2007

The diary entry that tried to kill me part 4

Lost souls lost

When we came out of the cube we decided that we would go to the park (lost souls that we are, we had trouble finding our way in) and have a drink, Agent mulder for her part was undecided as to weather this would be a coffee or a beer, for my part I choose and will always when offered something alcoholic and something non alcoholic, choose the alcoholic beverage, the beer in this case, or, if you will lager. So we went to a small nearby pub or perhaps it was a bar it certainly looked young and hip, at least vaguely so, so perhaps it was a bar not that it matters, as they told us that they didn’t have a license to sell drinks to be consumed of the premises so we went away empty handed, I said that we should maybe just get the drinks and sit on the benches outside the pub but I’m not sure Agent mulder heard me or maybe agent mulder miss understood me and in any case I didn’t really care that much, so we went and sat in the park for a while. We listened to some of my music that I had on my phone, Agent mulder said she liked it but then I don’t think she'd say that she didn’t, tellingly enough she said that it would send you insane if you listened to it for too long. Also before we were quite in the park we saw a police horse and I commented at how strange it was to see a live animal after just having seen five or so dead ones in formaldehyde, I don’t remember weather Agent mulder agreed or not.

A short discourse on the nature of life and freedom.

It has been said throughout history, that no one is truly free, the reason used to be fate then it was divine intervention and predetermination now its genetics and parenting, meaning, basically, that how we turn out as adults, what we end up doing, and the sort of opinions that we end up formulating on any number of subjects, are predetermined by a combination of
our genetic code, and the way that we are treated as children, and how we are raised by our parents.
It seems to me that if we don’t really have freedom, and I’m not saying that this is true, then this concept, ‘freedom’ then, does not actually exist, and as such we should either stop using it, or we should redefine the word, so that it actually describes a faculty or an attribute that is possessed by some people but not by others, after all if everyone possesses an attribute then it becomes as meaningless a concept to speak of as it would be, if it, as I have already said, was a attribute possessed by no one. This is true for many perhaps all concepts, including life itself, after all, persons who are dead, not that they should any longer be considered to be persons, seeing as they are no longer able to possess any of the attributes of a living person, as well as not possessing any other living attribute they do not possess the attribute of life.
My own personal opinion on all of this, is that we may be predetermined to be certain sorts of people, but as those different types of people we can choose to do anything, to say anything, and to think anything, though we may have a predilection towards doing, saying, and thinking certain things we can choose not to do, say, though not necessarily think them, that perhaps being the limit of freedom, that though we may be able to think as we wish to we cannot stop ourselves from thinking anything in particular. My definition of freedom then, would be the ability, not possessed by all, to go against ones own predilections, and in fact to create, or indeed change, or rather modify ones own nature. I see no other possible definition.

The heart of cool.

An exploration and dissection of the dangerous allure of the weapon.

The gun itself

Guns are deeply sexy, they are seen as being phallic extensions and the extension goes as long as far as wide as the bullet is fired, as far as it goes your ego extends with it. Besides this they are also deeply aesthetically pleasant, and besides that and what’s more on a more practical note they are great equalizers no matter how small and week you may be they give you power, immediate, uncomplicated power, though not necessarily strength.
You’d think that women, they themselves not possessing penises, would somehow escape the lure of the gun and yet it has to be said that if when a man holds a gun he is holding, in ideal, an extension of his own penis then, similarly when a woman holds a gun she is holding a penis, something that she does not have and yet if she is heterosexual then it is, and I know that this probably sounds patronizing and sexist, something that she desires. So there’s an attraction there and what’s more the gun also makes her equal to a man not just in the way that I have already discussed but also in a conceptual way, in that, and once again I know that this will sound sexist, it gives her a penis. Interestingly also, if a woman shoots a man, even if its not with his own gun, it’s like, in so much as the gun represents the penis, shooting him with his own weapon, running him through with his own sword, the ultimate in humiliating defeats, and a very interesting and alluring concept in post feminist times.
In an interesting side note, this concept of the gun as penile extension finds its mirror image, by which I mean its exact opposite, things in a mirror being reversed, in a Native American folk tale of one of their Gods who seeing an attractive female someway across the road, extends his penis across to meet her, before it is cut down, or rather run over by White Europeans coming down in their wagons with their guns, the idea being that the White man came down with his superior military weapons, conquered and thus emasculated the natives.

an evening of one guy asking loads of boring questions that only interest him.

‘Why aren’t Jay and Bob on the cover of Dogma, were pictures done for you, and if so why weren’t they used on any part of the DVD?’

‘Is there any reason why duo’s, especially male duo’s, feature so much in your films, or is it just accidental?’

‘How do you feel about seemingly having started the careers of so many people some of whom would if it were not for you have any sort of movie career?, and do you think this is something that your going to try to continue doing?’

‘You referred to yourself watching “Dora the explorer” while stoned, but you live with Jason Mewes who I have been led to believe is as well as being a comedy genius also a recovering drug addict, so are there any problems with that?’

‘In Chasing Amy Silent Bob talks about having a life outside his friendship with Jay, have you ever thought of doing a Silent Bob solo story?’

‘Why do you never have yourself listed as a star’

‘On the cover for “Jay and Silent Bob strike back” why is it that you have Ben Affleck and Chris Rock when really they just have cameos in the movie’

I know that these questions and indeed their answers are not necessarily going to be entertaining but frankly that’s Kevin Smith’s problem these are just things that I would really like to know, I figure that finding out stuff that you really want to know is kinda the purpose of a Q and A session, and besides Kevin Smith can make anything funny.

The diary entry that tried to kill me 3

An interesting fellow

Met an interesting fellow in there, he instantly (before having spoke to him) reminded me of my old friend Deputy Director Skinner, a sort of separated at birth kinda thing though he did not as it turned out sound anything like him but there it seemed to me to be some sort of connection in the sort of way he spoke or rather the things he said though now I don’t think so. He did not like the work, seemed to think it to be somehow spiteful towards god, fairly stupid thing to say really, however he did make an interesting observation about Hirst benefactor Charles Saatchi having made his money doing the advertising for cigarettes and how a lot of Hirsts and for that matter the other YBAs early work being based around cigarettes and now you come to this show and you have these cancer cell pieces. We also discussed McDonald’s, George Michael, and the nature of free choice within the concept of a law abiding society.

Some names have been changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty.

To be continued.......................................

Guns ARE cool.

David Cameron, the Eton educated Blair copyist leader of the Conservative party, has recently said that ‘we need to tackle gun and knife crime not simply by imposing harsher sentences but also by changing the culture so that knifes and guns are no longer seen as being cool’, but the fact of the matter is that they are COOL. This is no matter of taste or opinion, guns, knifes, and for that matter bombs, are cool. These things are death bringers and power givers, they speak to something in the human spirit un-touched by politics, reform, and the philosophy of moderation, a certain violence, a bloody strength, a throbbing power, the idea of blood, and of penetration running through the human mind not soon be removed, and to make matters worse any such surgery would undoubtably have complications and leave scars so deep and impossible to heal that it must be seen to be better leave it as it is, like an inoperable tumor, at the heart of cool is the icy calm power of death.

And remember de-thorned roses are often less beautifull, and a de-clawed cat is useless.