Shock horror irony overload

PETA thats, for those how don't know and a few who do but have forgotten, people for the ethical treatment of animals which really should make their abreviated name PFTETOA which would presumebly be pronounced pef tee toe frankly i prefere that, i mean would you rather be a member of PETA or PFTETOA, go on say it in your head you know i'm right, but thats enough funny buisiness PFTETOA, PETA, whatever these sick barstards call themselves call themselves, has after years of haranging us about animal cruelty revealed that it was all just a sick joke, for i have learn't that in a new and upcoming advertisment they will encourage you to pay someone, a "vetenarian" if that is his real name, to gass your belloved pet and stick a knife in them to prevent the poor creature from have kids of its own, have they know shame, no they have even less than that, they call it ABC (pronounced ab book) animal birth controll, the facist pigs.

As a result of this i encourage all of you animal lovers out there to hold my hands and join me in the formational act of PFTPOCTP (pronounced pef fet tep poc co top) people for the propogation of cruelty towards PETA.

And a new cruelty free era is born.

Have no dobt my freinds, future generations will look upon this day and say it was our greatest hour.

What??!?

I've just spent the best part of an hour trying to attach a few pictures to an E-mail.

I reakon someone must of typed google into google cos the internet is broken.

Either that or the network at my local library is broken, maybe some types fullwellcross library into their seach engine.

All heil the IT crowd.

Damn i wish there were more fonts on here.

Recently [ August - September ] i have found worthwhile watching.........

Confessions Of A Trickbaby
06-Sep-2007
11-Sep-2007
History Of Violence
03-Sep-2007
06-Sep-2007
David Bowie - Origins Of A Starman
03-Sep-2007
06-Sep-2007
The Hunger
28-Aug-2007
03-Sep-2007
For Your Consideration
24-Aug-2007
28-Aug-2007
Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse
24-Aug-2007
28-Aug-2007
Hannibal Rising
17-Aug-2007
21-Aug-2007
Lady In The Water
17-Aug-2007
21-Aug-2007

Recently [ August - September ] i have enjoyed watching..........

Confessions Of A Trickbaby
06-Sep-2007
11-Sep-2007
History Of Violence
03-Sep-2007
06-Sep-2007
David Bowie - Origins Of A Starman
03-Sep-2007
06-Sep-2007
Extras - Series 2 (Two Discs) (Disk 2)
28-Aug-2007
03-Sep-2007
The Hunger
28-Aug-2007
03-Sep-2007
For Your Consideration
24-Aug-2007
28-Aug-2007
Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse
24-Aug-2007
28-Aug-2007
Extras - Series 2 (Two Discs) (Disk 1)
21-Aug-2007
24-Aug-2007
The Producers
21-Aug-2007
24-Aug-2007
Hannibal Rising
17-Aug-2007
21-Aug-2007
Lady In The Water
17-Aug-2007
21-Aug-2007
House Of The Dead 2 - Dead Aim
06-Aug-2007
09-Aug-2007

recently [august - september] i have been mostly watching.............

Confessions Of A Trickbaby
06-Sep-2007
11-Sep-2007
History Of Violence
03-Sep-2007
06-Sep-2007
David Bowie - Origins Of A Starman
03-Sep-2007
06-Sep-2007
Extras - Series 2 (Two Discs) (Disk 2)
28-Aug-2007
03-Sep-2007
The Hunger
28-Aug-2007
03-Sep-2007
For Your Consideration
24-Aug-2007
28-Aug-2007
Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse
24-Aug-2007
28-Aug-2007
Extras - Series 2 (Two Discs) (Disk 1)
21-Aug-2007
24-Aug-2007
The Producers
21-Aug-2007
24-Aug-2007
Hannibal Rising
17-Aug-2007
21-Aug-2007
Lady In The Water
17-Aug-2007
21-Aug-2007
The Pursuit Of Happyness
06-Aug-2007
09-Aug-2007
House Of The Dead 2 - Dead Aim
06-Aug-2007
09-Aug-2007

The diary entry that tried to kill me part 4

Lost souls lost

When we came out of the cube we decided that we would go to the park (lost souls that we are, we had trouble finding our way in) and have a drink, Agent mulder for her part was undecided as to weather this would be a coffee or a beer, for my part I choose and will always when offered something alcoholic and something non alcoholic, choose the alcoholic beverage, the beer in this case, or, if you will lager. So we went to a small nearby pub or perhaps it was a bar it certainly looked young and hip, at least vaguely so, so perhaps it was a bar not that it matters, as they told us that they didn’t have a license to sell drinks to be consumed of the premises so we went away empty handed, I said that we should maybe just get the drinks and sit on the benches outside the pub but I’m not sure Agent mulder heard me or maybe agent mulder miss understood me and in any case I didn’t really care that much, so we went and sat in the park for a while. We listened to some of my music that I had on my phone, Agent mulder said she liked it but then I don’t think she'd say that she didn’t, tellingly enough she said that it would send you insane if you listened to it for too long. Also before we were quite in the park we saw a police horse and I commented at how strange it was to see a live animal after just having seen five or so dead ones in formaldehyde, I don’t remember weather Agent mulder agreed or not.

A short discourse on the nature of life and freedom.

It has been said throughout history, that no one is truly free, the reason used to be fate then it was divine intervention and predetermination now its genetics and parenting, meaning, basically, that how we turn out as adults, what we end up doing, and the sort of opinions that we end up formulating on any number of subjects, are predetermined by a combination of
our genetic code, and the way that we are treated as children, and how we are raised by our parents.
It seems to me that if we don’t really have freedom, and I’m not saying that this is true, then this concept, ‘freedom’ then, does not actually exist, and as such we should either stop using it, or we should redefine the word, so that it actually describes a faculty or an attribute that is possessed by some people but not by others, after all if everyone possesses an attribute then it becomes as meaningless a concept to speak of as it would be, if it, as I have already said, was a attribute possessed by no one. This is true for many perhaps all concepts, including life itself, after all, persons who are dead, not that they should any longer be considered to be persons, seeing as they are no longer able to possess any of the attributes of a living person, as well as not possessing any other living attribute they do not possess the attribute of life.
My own personal opinion on all of this, is that we may be predetermined to be certain sorts of people, but as those different types of people we can choose to do anything, to say anything, and to think anything, though we may have a predilection towards doing, saying, and thinking certain things we can choose not to do, say, though not necessarily think them, that perhaps being the limit of freedom, that though we may be able to think as we wish to we cannot stop ourselves from thinking anything in particular. My definition of freedom then, would be the ability, not possessed by all, to go against ones own predilections, and in fact to create, or indeed change, or rather modify ones own nature. I see no other possible definition.

The heart of cool.

An exploration and dissection of the dangerous allure of the weapon.

The gun itself

Guns are deeply sexy, they are seen as being phallic extensions and the extension goes as long as far as wide as the bullet is fired, as far as it goes your ego extends with it. Besides this they are also deeply aesthetically pleasant, and besides that and what’s more on a more practical note they are great equalizers no matter how small and week you may be they give you power, immediate, uncomplicated power, though not necessarily strength.
You’d think that women, they themselves not possessing penises, would somehow escape the lure of the gun and yet it has to be said that if when a man holds a gun he is holding, in ideal, an extension of his own penis then, similarly when a woman holds a gun she is holding a penis, something that she does not have and yet if she is heterosexual then it is, and I know that this probably sounds patronizing and sexist, something that she desires. So there’s an attraction there and what’s more the gun also makes her equal to a man not just in the way that I have already discussed but also in a conceptual way, in that, and once again I know that this will sound sexist, it gives her a penis. Interestingly also, if a woman shoots a man, even if its not with his own gun, it’s like, in so much as the gun represents the penis, shooting him with his own weapon, running him through with his own sword, the ultimate in humiliating defeats, and a very interesting and alluring concept in post feminist times.
In an interesting side note, this concept of the gun as penile extension finds its mirror image, by which I mean its exact opposite, things in a mirror being reversed, in a Native American folk tale of one of their Gods who seeing an attractive female someway across the road, extends his penis across to meet her, before it is cut down, or rather run over by White Europeans coming down in their wagons with their guns, the idea being that the White man came down with his superior military weapons, conquered and thus emasculated the natives.

an evening of one guy asking loads of boring questions that only interest him.

‘Why aren’t Jay and Bob on the cover of Dogma, were pictures done for you, and if so why weren’t they used on any part of the DVD?’

‘Is there any reason why duo’s, especially male duo’s, feature so much in your films, or is it just accidental?’

‘How do you feel about seemingly having started the careers of so many people some of whom would if it were not for you have any sort of movie career?, and do you think this is something that your going to try to continue doing?’

‘You referred to yourself watching “Dora the explorer” while stoned, but you live with Jason Mewes who I have been led to believe is as well as being a comedy genius also a recovering drug addict, so are there any problems with that?’

‘In Chasing Amy Silent Bob talks about having a life outside his friendship with Jay, have you ever thought of doing a Silent Bob solo story?’

‘Why do you never have yourself listed as a star’

‘On the cover for “Jay and Silent Bob strike back” why is it that you have Ben Affleck and Chris Rock when really they just have cameos in the movie’

I know that these questions and indeed their answers are not necessarily going to be entertaining but frankly that’s Kevin Smith’s problem these are just things that I would really like to know, I figure that finding out stuff that you really want to know is kinda the purpose of a Q and A session, and besides Kevin Smith can make anything funny.

The diary entry that tried to kill me 3

An interesting fellow

Met an interesting fellow in there, he instantly (before having spoke to him) reminded me of my old friend Deputy Director Skinner, a sort of separated at birth kinda thing though he did not as it turned out sound anything like him but there it seemed to me to be some sort of connection in the sort of way he spoke or rather the things he said though now I don’t think so. He did not like the work, seemed to think it to be somehow spiteful towards god, fairly stupid thing to say really, however he did make an interesting observation about Hirst benefactor Charles Saatchi having made his money doing the advertising for cigarettes and how a lot of Hirsts and for that matter the other YBAs early work being based around cigarettes and now you come to this show and you have these cancer cell pieces. We also discussed McDonald’s, George Michael, and the nature of free choice within the concept of a law abiding society.

Some names have been changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty.

To be continued.......................................

Guns ARE cool.

David Cameron, the Eton educated Blair copyist leader of the Conservative party, has recently said that ‘we need to tackle gun and knife crime not simply by imposing harsher sentences but also by changing the culture so that knifes and guns are no longer seen as being cool’, but the fact of the matter is that they are COOL. This is no matter of taste or opinion, guns, knifes, and for that matter bombs, are cool. These things are death bringers and power givers, they speak to something in the human spirit un-touched by politics, reform, and the philosophy of moderation, a certain violence, a bloody strength, a throbbing power, the idea of blood, and of penetration running through the human mind not soon be removed, and to make matters worse any such surgery would undoubtably have complications and leave scars so deep and impossible to heal that it must be seen to be better leave it as it is, like an inoperable tumor, at the heart of cool is the icy calm power of death.

And remember de-thorned roses are often less beautifull, and a de-clawed cat is useless.

An evening of one guy asking really boring questions that only interest him.

I’ve just been watching the London half of ‘An evening with Kevin Smith 2: Evening harder’ and shit, these Americans come over here and always act like we Brits are so much smatter than them, and usually I’d agree with that but on this occasion fuck me so many of the questions this audience asked were so dumb a lot of the time it seemed like they they’d never seen any of his movies and just thought ‘he’s just some funny American’ and he is but he’s had an interesting movie career and I think only about 3 maybe 4 or 5 people asked questions about his films. One guy asked him something along the lines of, if he had to be half man half sausage which way round would he have it.

If I was there I would have asked stuff like...............

‘Silent Bob is on the cover of Clerks but Jay isn’t, I’ve seen a Q and A’s where Jason Mewes says that he wasn’t invited or something, was there more to that story that you or he didn’t want to discuss at the time?’

‘I think that all the covers for your DVD’s have group photo’s on them except for Mallrats which has a kinda shitty looking collage sort of thing on it, why didn’t you use some of that kick arse comic art work on it instead?’

‘On the cover of Chasing Amy Ben Affleck doesn’t have a beard even though he does have one in the movie, what’s with that?, and also why are Jay and Bob on it even though they don’t play such a major role in it and their only in one scene?, if you needed to make up numbers why didn’t you just use the black dude, whose name at this time escapes me, he looks cool, and he’s in quite a bit of the movie and plays a more important role than Jay or Bob?’

To be continued................................................

The diary entry that tried to killed me 2

Lunch and formaldehyde

Went and got a cheese sandwich and a drink then left off for the new Damien Hirst show at the White Cube (it was split between the two White Cubes we ended up going to just the one and saying that we’d finish it off later) came in the show after getting a bit lost as usual saw the tied up and darted bull piece and felt a great shock of glee found it to be very beautiful and not in an odd way at all, wanted to touch it in fact, loved its fur, then saw the piece with the tiny skeleton in the ICU and felt a great shock of emotion, strange I did not think something so clinical could produce such feelings, everything else was pretty shit though, the paintings were boring, the cancer cell pieces were just really studenty, reminded me of the sort of thing you’d see at my old uni, as for the skinned and crucified cows or whatever they were well they were very odd, but that’s all, just odd, nothing more.

To be continued.............

and in local news............

Man convicted of sexually harassing the paramedic who was treating him for being paralytically drunk and lying in the middle of the road. He’s given a thirteen month sentence but the guys homeless so what does he care, free room and food not much bad in that. However he’s going to sign on to the sex offenders register for the next ten years which puts down his options as to what jobs he can go for, and puts down the likelihood of him getting those that he does go for, basically meaning that he is now more likely to remain on the streets once he gets out. This can’t be good for society. Funny thing though not really funny more sorta tragic well maybe not tragic just really dumb is you’d think that cos he was so drunk [paramedics described him as having been paralytic which brings to mind a questions as to how he did it, doesn’t it] he wouldn’t be held accountable for his actions but the judge discounted this as the man had a history of drunkenness, the homeless man convicted of the crime not the judge I mean though you could believe that though couldn’t you cos his history of drunkenness, the homeless man convicted of the crime I mean not the judge, seems to me has no bearing on whether he was in control of his own actions or not.

The diary entry that tried to kill me 1

Prologue

Went out with Agent Mulder, had to meet her later than usual, as she had a last minute blood test scheduled for the terribly precise times of, between 12 and 2 o’clock. Originally intended to leave at my usual time of 11: 30 and spend the extra time hunting for rare singles, (primarily, nine inch nails) in the back streets off oxford street, and perhaps even check in at orbital comics, but alas, curse my laziness, I got up late. I would have still have had an extra 20 minutes or so to bum around before we met up, but I thought best not risk it, you know how the trains are. As it turned out we could have met up earlier, I arrived at Gordon Hill, at about 1:40, waited a few minutes and then Agent Mulder got of her bus, turned out they gave her the blood test at 11:30, lying disorganized cunts [spell checker doesn’t recognize cunts fancy that].

To be continued........

Some names have been changed in order to protect both the innocent and the guilty.

My attempt at writing a diary, or atleast a blog post about my attempt at writing a diary.

I’ve been attempting recently to write a diary. Having had a particularly eventful day I spent two maybe three days writing nearly a thousand words and I was barely over half way through, what’s more I really didn’t feel like writing anything else for the rest of the week, not the rest of that entry, not a new entry, not even a new essay for my blog, so I figured screw this, this is too much work, course it took me about two weeks to come to that conclusions and frankly I’ve practically forgotten how to write, or at least I’ve forgotten how I write, which might not be such a bad idea, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from that attempted diary entry is that I am the king of diversion, I also learned a lot about narrative, which was also good.

Writers cloak and dagger, in leu of block.

I don’t have writers blocks, its just that the words die in my head, I have writers cloak and dagger, and if any blocks are involved there being thrown by that psycho, derailing my trains of thought and logic before they have a chance to turn into anything worth speaking of, and like a lot of things in life the only way round this problem is to tire the cunt out, throw as many trains of thought at him as possible, till he falls asleep, then get his dagger and slash the fucker’s throat, you just have to remember to bury the corpse good and proper, cos you might end up tripping over it. Well that went from the sublime to the ridiculous, but both parts are true, as far as it goes.

Computer Games VS The Church of England.

Recent Sony Games ‘shoot em up’ the, I have been told by computer game nut freak friends brilliant, ‘Resistance: Fall of man’ apparently has one scene set in The Church or England (from now on CoE) controlled Manchester Cathedral, the CoE are obviously shocked appalled and apparently made go loonatic by this as they have recently said that they regard this as a, and I quote, ‘virtual desecration’. Heaven, God, and all his angels forbid the depiction of any act of violence inside a church, I mean of course apart from that dude who’s been nailed to a piece of wood. That of course is the absurdity of this case the CoE want this ‘violent game’ banned or at least suitably re-edited, and yet Christianity is a supremely violent religion in both the way it has acted over the ages and in its imagery, from the crucifixion to the inquisition, to the crusades, to the martyrdom of the saints, to the entire concept of martyrdom , Christianity glories in violence.
I don’t expect that the CoE will get anywhere with this case, not with the absurd demands that they’re making, and after all they only let minority religions dictate things like this, of course I could be wrong and it’s no laughing matter, one shouldn’t allow any religion or for that matter any institution that level of control over what we are allowed to see, and hear any more than one should allow some to gouge out you’re eyes, and poor concrete in you’re ears, of course we’ve already gone down this path, companies will usually cow tow to religious demands because they don’t want to alienate any possible customers. It seems that the demands of the market will enslave us all.

Public image Ltd, First issue, aka public image

It opens with a subtle little bass line that reminds me of ‘Siouxsie And The Banshees’ first album, this soon opens out into a barrage of effects laden riffs later borrowed by Marilyn Manson on the song song ‘misery machine’, this then breaks down, or up depending on you’re point of view into a incomprehensible and seemingly chaotic sound scape matched with an equally incomprehensible plaintive, needy, ‘Siouxsie Sioux’ esque wail, losing all of its Sex Pistols aggression and sneer and is not so much all the better for it, simply different for it, wonderfully or brilliantly hellishly so. This is not representative of the rest of the album which is by and large considerably better than this, though far less interesting to write about, though much nicer to listen to.

I’ll say no more except that religion 1 and religion 2 are lyrically and musically brilliant and incisive and that low life is fantastically uplifting and anthemic without being cliched, John Lydons vocals on this are nothing short of genius. I’ll say no more except that it is nothing short of a miracle, or an act of genius, depending on your point of view that the last track on the album the really quite disturbing ‘Fodderstompf’ is equally anthemic and not in any way annoying, listen to it and you’ll know what I mean.

I’ll say no more.