Ahhh, scam e-mails, light of my life.

FROM THE DESK OF HER EXCELLENCY
.DR. MRS. MARYAM. ABACHA.

GOOD DAY ASSALAMUALAIKUM.

DEAR SIR, CONFIDENTIAL/URGENT BUSINESS PROPOSAL

I AM DELIGHTED TO WRITE THIS LETTER TO YOU HOPING THAT YOU WILL UNDERSTAND MY PREDICAMENTS AND ANSWER BACK WITHOUT HESITATION. I AM DR MARYAM ABACHA THE WIFE OF THE LATE NIGERIAN HEAD OF STATE GENERAL SANI ABACHA. I GOT YOUR CONTACT THROUGH AN INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS INQUIRY ON INTERNET AS I WAS LOOKING FOR AN HONEST FOREIGNER WHO WILL HELP SAVE MY LIFE AND MY CHILDREN, HENCE OUR COUNTRY HAS BEEN FRUSTRATING US SINCE THE DEATH OF MY HUSBAND. I AM IN POSSESSION OF
$25 000.000 (TWENTY FIVE MILLION U.S DOLLARS) WHICH I WANT TO INVEST IN YOUR COUNTRY. FOR YOUR CLARIFICATION AND UNDERSTANDING, THIS MONEY IN A BOX WHICH I DEPOSITED WITH THE FINANCE AND SECURITY COMPANY IN DISGUISE AS A FAMILY EFFECT SINCE 5TH OF MAY 1998, IS NOT AN ILL GOTTEN WEALTH RATHER, IT WAS GENERATED FROM MY ORGANIZATION FAMILY SUPPORT PROGRAM (F.S.P). I WILL ENLIGHTEN YOU MORE OF THIS ORGANIZATION IF YOU INDICATE A HELPING INTEREST TO SECURE THIS MONEY ON MY BEHALF.
ON YOUR ACCEPTANCE TO RENDER THIS ASSISTANCE TO ME, I WILL INSTRUCT THE FINANCE COMPANY TO EFFECT A CHANGE OF OWNERSHIP OF THIS FUND IN YOUR NAME AS THE BONIFIDE OWNER/MY NEXT OF KIN TO ENABLE YOU RETRIEVE THE FUND, ALSO I WILL DISCLOSE TO YOU THE COUNTRY AND THE NAME OF THE FINANCE AND SECURITY COMPANY WHERE THIS MONEY IS BEING DEPOSITED.
WHAT I DEMAND FROM YOU IS TO ARRANGE AND GO TO THE FINANCE COMPANY WHERE THIS MONEY IS BEING DEPOSITED AND CLAIM IT.
IT IS VERY IDEAL YOU FORWARD TO ME YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS TO ENABLE ME SEND ALL RELEVANT DOCUMENTS PERTAINING THE DEPOSIT OF THIS FUND FOR YOUR STUDY.
BEAR IN MIND THAT THIS TRANSACTION DEMANDS ABSOLUTECONFIDENTIALITY BECAUSE PROPERTIES, ASSETS AND BANK ACCOUNTS BOTH LOCAL AND INTERNATIONAL BEARING THE ABACHA'S FAMILY NAME, ARE BEING ORDERED TO BE CONFISCATED BY THE NEWLY ELECTED CIVILIAN PRESIDENT OF NIGERIA (PRESIDENT OLUSEGUN OBASANJO) HENCE I WILL NOT WANT TO BE EXPOSED.
FOR YOUR KNOWLEDGE, 25% OF THIS FUND $25 000.000(TWENTY FIVE MILLION U.S DOLLARS) WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU IF YOU ASSIST ME TO SECURE THIS FUND AND ANOTHER 5% HAS BEEN SET ASIDE FOR ALL THE EXPENSES YOU MIGHT INCUR DURING THE PROCESS OF SECURING THIS FUND.
EXAMPLE: TELEPHONE BILLS, HOTEL BILLS, FLIGHT BILLS AND OTHER MISLINOUS EXPENSES. WHEN YOU MUST HAVE TAKEN THE AGREED PERCENTAGE, YOU WILL USE PART OF THE BALANCE TO BUY A LIVING HOUSE FOR MY FAMILY THERE IN YOUR COUNTRY, WHERE WE SHALL LIVE IN FUTURE AND THE REMAINING PART WILL BE KEPT FOR INVESTMENT PACKAGE ALSO IN YOUR COUNTRY WHICH WILL BEUNDER YOUR SUPERVISION.
REPLY THIS LETTER URGENTLY THROUGH MY TRUSTEE
E-MAIL [address taken out to save room and protect the innocent]
OR YOU CALL HIM ON HIS PRIVATE LINE 226-7037-7447 BECAUSE I HAVE ALREADY INFORM HIM ABOUT THE STEP I WANT TO USE TO TAKE THIS MONEY OUT OF THE SHORE OF AFRICA AND AVOID US LOSING THIS MONEY, SINCE IT IS THE ONLY REMAINING FUND FOR THE SURVIVAL OF MY FAMILY.
THANKS FOR YOUR ANTICIPATED CO-OPERATION.
YOUR URGENT RESPONSE IS NEEDED.
WASSALLAM,
YOURS SINCERELY,
ALHAJA MRS.MARYAM ABACHAMY
TRUSTEE EMAIL ADDRESS:
[Address taken for the same comedic and practical reasons as before]
PHONE 00226-7037-7447.
NAME : USMAN DANLADI.