Monday, December 17, 2007

As you may have guessed

i am so bored with blogger, my new internet addiction is mobile website itsmy at wap.itsmy.com enjoy, or whatever.

movies coming out in the cinema that i am strangely interested in seeing, probably not while they're actually in the cinema but you know maybe when

they come out on DVD or more than likely in 5 or 6 years when they put them on TV.

Bee movie

And

Fred Claus

Now cower before the mighty mightyness of this post!

Monday, November 12, 2007

The funny graffiti plague

In a car park.


On a library!


Next to a bus stop!! taunting the glumly waiting commuters!!!


The replacement blog asks? Will this madness never end!!!!



Super what now..........

I'll say it again.

Jesus says...........

AHHHRRRRRG! THERE'S A WHEEL ON ME HEAD!!

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Picture exclusives: Racist BNP advertises at Wimbledon tenis finals.

The Replacement Blog asks:
Is this freedom of speech gone mad?








Pieces of film memerabilia that i would love to own.

From 'the shining' the red jacket worn by Jack Nicholson's character, the photograph right at the end with Jack Nicholson's character in the front row, the huge model of the maze, and all of those 'all work and no play make jack a dull boy' bits of paper.
From 'Hellraiser' The bloody mattress, the puzzle boxes, the column of souls or whatever it was called from the third film the one that they have 'Pin Head' in obviously it was hollow so the actor, Doug Bradley, would be able to stand in it, just think it would be really cool to stand in it, though i think they may have destroyed it in the filming, and of course all of the cenobite costumes from all of the movies but particulaly 1 to 3.
Thats it for now

Buzz Whirrr buzz buzz.

Just nearly run over by an electric car...... well i'm assuming it was an electric car it was buzzing and whiring like a childs wind up toy so i'm assuming it was, i tell you this their going to have to make them sound an awfull lot meaner before they really catch on.
Still it could have been worse i know someones who's friends aunt WAS run over by a HOBNOB van......... course it actually killed her........ and yet some how its still funny, we used to joke that they should cattered the funeral free of charge to make up for it,,,,,,,,,, though maybe such an offer would have been seen as being obnoxious insulting and hoghly insensitive......but damn it would have been funny and i do love my hobnobs.
Oh and the van was ACTUALLY shaped like a hobnob.
The electric car that nearly ran me over was just shaped like a cream coloured mini.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Pulling the trigger: the gun as sorcerors wand.

You pull the trigger and your just open hand becomes a fist, try it, put your hand out, close three of the fingers leaving the fourth just curved round a bit at the top, close it, and your making a fist, there is a power in this, you point a hand, make a fist and bad shit happens to the guy you point it at. MAGIC, that’s what this must have seemed like to those who first discovered it, and so it was for those who first made gunpowder would have been alchemists, men of magic and of science, and though I cannot speak of science, magic is always addictive; what’s more when gunpowder was first made, the urine of priests was used in the process, so gunpowder and by extension guns became holy and right and correct and of the path of god, would that they had seen the demon but they did not, for magic is always beguiling.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Exerts from a recent essay i wrote for my retail skills course. pt1

Body language, by which I mean things such as posture, stance, positioning of arms and so on and so forth. These can tell someone a lot about what a person really thinks when they are saying something for instance they could be saying I love you” but their body language may tell you something else.
Talking, i.e. direct communication, standing in front of someone and imparting information to them through a complex series of organized sounds called words.
Non verbal communication, similar to talking in terms of its directness but less complex, it basically constitutes someone making sounds and noises in order to indicate something such as grunting to imply aggression, disdain, or even amusement, sighing to indicate boredom, tiredness so on and so forth.
Gestures, similar to non verbal communication but visual rather than auditory, this can include such things as shrugging your shoulders in order to indicate that you do not know or in fact do not care, and brandishing a clenched fist to indicate any number of things such as aggression annoyance or even, as is the case in movements such as communism / socialism and anti - fascism, solidarity.
Actions, like all previously mentioned methods of communication, this is direct, face to face, and often toe to toe; however unlike the previously mentioned methods this one is not primarily a method of communications though it is likely to speak louder, for instance telling someone that you hate them is very direct and leaves little room for misinterpretation but seeing as some people are big headed and / or dumb enough to believe that everyone is incapable of feeling anything but love or at the very least compassion for them, just saying that you hate them won’t cut the mustard, but if you try and strangle them then this leaves no room for doubt or naiveté on anyone’s part. Likewise anyone can say I love you, but kissing someone hugging them or doing something for them will make your words sound far more convincing.

go forth and check out

Dude called vkrq @
www.blogger.com/profile/08399386800094019662
not sure whether its somesort of secret code, or toaist poetry, or just someone who isn't very good at english, but damn its interesting.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Speaking with/of Authority.

The concept, or at least the word, authority is often, in fact lets cut the crap and the benefit of the doubt pleasantries, the word authority is ALWAYS misunderstood. It is taken to mean a person or group having control, usually legal control, over something or even everything. It means nothing of the sort, the concept of authority has nothing to do with control, governing or any sort of enforcement, it is to do with authorship, it is a creative act and has nothing to do with any sort of power game, it is to do with making the rules, and if you have to resort to governing or any sort of enforcement then you’ve already lost, you have failed as the authority, the receptacle of authorship, and you should be farmed off, and try your hand at different sort of authorship. Many politicians have learnt that and done so, before his death former government minister Robin Cook had written several best selling thrillers, many more however find a middle ground, stay in government and just become terrific liars. They may have failed as the authority but they almost make up for it by getting away with lies that are often quite outrageous, although this actually has nothing to do with their’, as I have already said, non existent authority, quite the opposite actually, people have so little respect for politicians that we just assume that they’re always lying, the upside of this is that when they do lie, which is much, but not all of the time, we fully expect it, and so we just accept it as something that is an unfortunate but necessary part of being a politician, and that we can’t do anything about it. Through such motions democracy is made null.

Alternatively, and there should always be an alternative.

If a celebrity is someone who is celebrated, and a celebrator is someone who celebrates, then it can be said that if an author is someone who writes, then an authority is someone who is written.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

a short message from our sponsor: making an issue out of pointless crap, for the benifit of all concerned.

just got this msg from Richard at ePerks, and i quote "Use your car First Name to get some quick cash" hmmm for a start i love his nickname for me 'first name' its just so witty, you can tell that he really knows me hmmmmm quick money using your car, i know get a job as an assasin and use your car, damn it richard you read my mind.......... oh its one of these take out a loan against the value of your car and when you get behind on repayments they take your car.......... for more information e-mail richard repeatedly at greatoffers@eperks.co.uk, have fun.......... oh you guys.

Saying for the day, month, year or other longer period of time depending on when i come accross another saying, like it, latch on to it, and decide to

put it on here.

You don't make a piece of string longer by cutting off one end and tying it to the other.

Phrase for the day, month, year or other longer period of time depending on when i come accross another phrase, like it, latch on to it, and decide to

put it on here.

Don't get bent outta shape.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

The diary entry that tried to kill me part 5

For legal reasons i must inform you that everything after and i quote 'while watching one of the CSI's' has been added at a later date and as such is not a true part of this diary entry.

As allways some names have been changed to protect the innocent, the guilty, and myself from being sued by either of them, though of course any speculation as to which of these groups i fit into will be met with swift legal reprisals.

Internet phone to the rescue

While we were in the park we decided that we would go to the summer exhibition at the royal academy, seeing as this is the only thing we ever go to the royal academy for and it of course only happens once every year thank fuck, we of course could not remember where the damned thing was so internet phone, mine not Agent Mulders, to the rescue, I went on there website which not knowing the address of It got to it via the white cube’s website which had a article about the Chapman brothers [Jake and the now aptly named Dinos] piece in the forecourt, a series of massive dinosaurs [that’s why Dinos is aptly named] made out of very thick sheets of metal, entitled ‘the meek shall inherit the earth but not the mineral rights’ liked the look of the piece, looked forward to seeing it and was greatly amused [or at least somewhat amused] by the title, though interestingly at that point in time was entirely un-aware of what the term ‘mineral rights’ meant, found out, quite serendipitously a few days later, while watching one of the CSI’s, I believe that it may have been CSI Miami, though it could have been the original one set in Las Vegas but i'm fairly certain it wasn't CSI Bromley, CSI Ancient Greece, CSI New York, or CSI Moon Base Alpha.

Nickname a nack noooo but what does it mean I hear you cry well fear not for I do………… And theeeee winner for worst, longest, and most pointless title

for a blog post goes toooooooooooo (drum roll) oh my god it’s the replacement blog, with nickname a nack noooo but what does it mean I hear you cry well fear not for I do.
Prelude
This post was extracted under painful torture from conversations I have had with the entity you know as Phenomenon, I will not go into details as to the nature of such entity’s real name if such entity does in fact have a name a question I will not go into further as on all such matters relating to the possible existence or non existence of said entity’s name I have been sworn into secrecy under pain of death…………………………….. enjoy.
It all started one dark and stormy evening when...........
The name, Nick or rather Nicholas actually means demonic or demon like it derives from the German nickel, or some such spelling, meaning demon which of course is also the name of a coin and indeed the metal (copper nickel) from whence it is made. The metal was so called because it was found, when first mined (presumably by copper miners, i.e. miners of copper) to contain no copper, but presumably looks similar enough to copper to fool someone, and so they likened it to a demon as it was as if it was in effect ‘lying’, (though obviously, seeing as the substance, like all substances, is in fact an inanimate object, and as such can have no intentions, lying is not the right word). So in any case, when you give someone a nickname it basically means you are giving them a false or ‘lying’ name, (though of course a name, though not an actual object certainly has similar properties of inanimatacy and as such can have no intentions so once again lying is of course the wrong word) ............ .................................................................................... either that, or your giving them their demon name MWA HA HA HA ............................................................................ ......................................................................... which is pretty cool.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Shock horror irony overload

PETA thats, for those how don't know and a few who do but have forgotten, people for the ethical treatment of animals which really should make their abreviated name PFTETOA which would presumebly be pronounced pef tee toe frankly i prefere that, i mean would you rather be a member of PETA or PFTETOA, go on say it in your head you know i'm right, but thats enough funny buisiness PFTETOA, PETA, whatever these sick barstards call themselves call themselves, has after years of haranging us about animal cruelty revealed that it was all just a sick joke, for i have learn't that in a new and upcoming advertisment they will encourage you to pay someone, a "vetenarian" if that is his real name, to gass your belloved pet and stick a knife in them to prevent the poor creature from have kids of its own, have they know shame, no they have even less than that, they call it ABC (pronounced ab book) animal birth controll, the facist pigs.
As a result of this i encourage all of you animal lovers out there to hold my hands and join me in the formational act of PFTPOCTP (pronounced pef fet tep poc co top) people for the propogation of cruelty towards PETA.
And a new cruelty free era is born.
Have no dobt my freinds, future generations will look upon this day and say it was our greatest hour.

What??!?

I've just spent the best part of an hour trying to attach a few pictures to an E-mail.
I reakon someone must of typed google into google cos the internet is broken.
Either that or the network at my local library is broken, maybe some types fullwellcross library into their seach engine.
All heil the IT crowd.
Damn i wish there were more fonts on here.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Recently [ August - September ] i have found worthwhile watching.........

Confessions Of A Trickbaby
06-Sep-2007
11-Sep-2007
History Of Violence
03-Sep-2007
06-Sep-2007
David Bowie - Origins Of A Starman
03-Sep-2007
06-Sep-2007
The Hunger
28-Aug-2007
03-Sep-2007
For Your Consideration
24-Aug-2007
28-Aug-2007
Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse
24-Aug-2007
28-Aug-2007
Hannibal Rising
17-Aug-2007
21-Aug-2007
Lady In The Water
17-Aug-2007
21-Aug-2007


Recently [ August - September ] i have enjoyed watching..........

Confessions Of A Trickbaby
06-Sep-2007
11-Sep-2007
History Of Violence
03-Sep-2007
06-Sep-2007
David Bowie - Origins Of A Starman
03-Sep-2007
06-Sep-2007
Extras - Series 2 (Two Discs) (Disk 2)
28-Aug-2007
03-Sep-2007
The Hunger
28-Aug-2007
03-Sep-2007
For Your Consideration
24-Aug-2007
28-Aug-2007
Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse
24-Aug-2007
28-Aug-2007
Extras - Series 2 (Two Discs) (Disk 1)
21-Aug-2007
24-Aug-2007
The Producers
21-Aug-2007
24-Aug-2007
Hannibal Rising
17-Aug-2007
21-Aug-2007
Lady In The Water
17-Aug-2007
21-Aug-2007
House Of The Dead 2 - Dead Aim
06-Aug-2007
09-Aug-2007

recently [august - september] i have been mostly watching.............

Confessions Of A Trickbaby
06-Sep-2007
11-Sep-2007
History Of Violence
03-Sep-2007
06-Sep-2007
David Bowie - Origins Of A Starman
03-Sep-2007
06-Sep-2007
Extras - Series 2 (Two Discs) (Disk 2)
28-Aug-2007
03-Sep-2007
The Hunger
28-Aug-2007
03-Sep-2007
For Your Consideration
24-Aug-2007
28-Aug-2007
Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse
24-Aug-2007
28-Aug-2007
Extras - Series 2 (Two Discs) (Disk 1)
21-Aug-2007
24-Aug-2007
The Producers
21-Aug-2007
24-Aug-2007
Hannibal Rising
17-Aug-2007
21-Aug-2007
Lady In The Water
17-Aug-2007
21-Aug-2007
The Pursuit Of Happyness
06-Aug-2007
09-Aug-2007
House Of The Dead 2 - Dead Aim
06-Aug-2007
09-Aug-2007

Thursday, August 16, 2007

The diary entry that tried to kill me part 4

Lost souls lost

When we came out of the cube we decided that we would go to the park (lost souls that we are, we had trouble finding our way in) and have a drink, Agent mulder for her part was undecided as to weather this would be a coffee or a beer, for my part I choose and will always when offered something alcoholic and something non alcoholic, choose the alcoholic beverage, the beer in this case, or, if you will lager. So we went to a small nearby pub or perhaps it was a bar it certainly looked young and hip, at least vaguely so, so perhaps it was a bar not that it matters, as they told us that they didn’t have a license to sell drinks to be consumed of the premises so we went away empty handed, I said that we should maybe just get the drinks and sit on the benches outside the pub but I’m not sure Agent mulder heard me or maybe agent mulder miss understood me and in any case I didn’t really care that much, so we went and sat in the park for a while. We listened to some of my music that I had on my phone, Agent mulder said she liked it but then I don’t think she'd say that she didn’t, tellingly enough she said that it would send you insane if you listened to it for too long. Also before we were quite in the park we saw a police horse and I commented at how strange it was to see a live animal after just having seen five or so dead ones in formaldehyde, I don’t remember weather Agent mulder agreed or not.

A short discourse on the nature of life and freedom.

It has been said throughout history, that no one is truly free, the reason used to be fate then it was divine intervention and predetermination now its genetics and parenting, meaning, basically, that how we turn out as adults, what we end up doing, and the sort of opinions that we end up formulating on any number of subjects, are predetermined by a combination of
our genetic code, and the way that we are treated as children, and how we are raised by our parents.
It seems to me that if we don’t really have freedom, and I’m not saying that this is true, then this concept, ‘freedom’ then, does not actually exist, and as such we should either stop using it, or we should redefine the word, so that it actually describes a faculty or an attribute that is possessed by some people but not by others, after all if everyone possesses an attribute then it becomes as meaningless a concept to speak of as it would be, if it, as I have already said, was a attribute possessed by no one. This is true for many perhaps all concepts, including life itself, after all, persons who are dead, not that they should any longer be considered to be persons, seeing as they are no longer able to possess any of the attributes of a living person, as well as not possessing any other living attribute they do not possess the attribute of life.
My own personal opinion on all of this, is that we may be predetermined to be certain sorts of people, but as those different types of people we can choose to do anything, to say anything, and to think anything, though we may have a predilection towards doing, saying, and thinking certain things we can choose not to do, say, though not necessarily think them, that perhaps being the limit of freedom, that though we may be able to think as we wish to we cannot stop ourselves from thinking anything in particular. My definition of freedom then, would be the ability, not possessed by all, to go against ones own predilections, and in fact to create, or indeed change, or rather modify ones own nature. I see no other possible definition.

Monday, July 30, 2007

The heart of cool.

An exploration and dissection of the dangerous allure of the weapon.
The gun itself

Guns are deeply sexy, they are seen as being phallic extensions and the extension goes as long as far as wide as the bullet is fired, as far as it goes your ego extends with it. Besides this they are also deeply aesthetically pleasant, and besides that and what’s more on a more practical note they are great equalizers no matter how small and week you may be they give you power, immediate, uncomplicated power, though not necessarily strength.
You’d think that women, they themselves not possessing penises, would somehow escape the lure of the gun and yet it has to be said that if when a man holds a gun he is holding, in ideal, an extension of his own penis then, similarly when a woman holds a gun she is holding a penis, something that she does not have and yet if she is heterosexual then it is, and I know that this probably sounds patronizing and sexist, something that she desires. So there’s an attraction there and what’s more the gun also makes her equal to a man not just in the way that I have already discussed but also in a conceptual way, in that, and once again I know that this will sound sexist, it gives her a penis. Interestingly also, if a woman shoots a man, even if its not with his own gun, it’s like, in so much as the gun represents the penis, shooting him with his own weapon, running him through with his own sword, the ultimate in humiliating defeats, and a very interesting and alluring concept in post feminist times.
In an interesting side note, this concept of the gun as penile extension finds its mirror image, by which I mean its exact opposite, things in a mirror being reversed, in a Native American folk tale of one of their Gods who seeing an attractive female someway across the road, extends his penis across to meet her, before it is cut down, or rather run over by White Europeans coming down in their wagons with their guns, the idea being that the White man came down with his superior military weapons, conquered and thus emasculated the natives.

an evening of one guy asking loads of boring questions that only interest him.

‘Why aren’t Jay and Bob on the cover of Dogma, were pictures done for you, and if so why weren’t they used on any part of the DVD?’

‘Is there any reason why duo’s, especially male duo’s, feature so much in your films, or is it just accidental?’

‘How do you feel about seemingly having started the careers of so many people some of whom would if it were not for you have any sort of movie career?, and do you think this is something that your going to try to continue doing?’

‘You referred to yourself watching “Dora the explorer” while stoned, but you live with Jason Mewes who I have been led to believe is as well as being a comedy genius also a recovering drug addict, so are there any problems with that?’

‘In Chasing Amy Silent Bob talks about having a life outside his friendship with Jay, have you ever thought of doing a Silent Bob solo story?’

‘Why do you never have yourself listed as a star’

‘On the cover for “Jay and Silent Bob strike back” why is it that you have Ben Affleck and Chris Rock when really they just have cameos in the movie’

I know that these questions and indeed their answers are not necessarily going to be entertaining but frankly that’s Kevin Smith’s problem these are just things that I would really like to know, I figure that finding out stuff that you really want to know is kinda the purpose of a Q and A session, and besides Kevin Smith can make anything funny.

The diary entry that tried to kill me 3

An interesting fellow

Met an interesting fellow in there, he instantly (before having spoke to him) reminded me of my old friend Deputy Director Skinner, a sort of separated at birth kinda thing though he did not as it turned out sound anything like him but there it seemed to me to be some sort of connection in the sort of way he spoke or rather the things he said though now I don’t think so. He did not like the work, seemed to think it to be somehow spiteful towards god, fairly stupid thing to say really, however he did make an interesting observation about Hirst benefactor Charles Saatchi having made his money doing the advertising for cigarettes and how a lot of Hirsts and for that matter the other YBAs early work being based around cigarettes and now you come to this show and you have these cancer cell pieces. We also discussed McDonald’s, George Michael, and the nature of free choice within the concept of a law abiding society.


Some names have been changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty.

To be continued.......................................

Friday, July 27, 2007

Guns ARE cool.

David Cameron, the Eton educated Blair copyist leader of the Conservative party, has recently said that ‘we need to tackle gun and knife crime not simply by imposing harsher sentences but also by changing the culture so that knifes and guns are no longer seen as being cool’, but the fact of the matter is that they are COOL. This is no matter of taste or opinion, guns, knifes, and for that matter bombs, are cool. These things are death bringers and power givers, they speak to something in the human spirit un-touched by politics, reform, and the philosophy of moderation, a certain violence, a bloody strength, a throbbing power, the idea of blood, and of penetration running through the human mind not soon be removed, and to make matters worse any such surgery would undoubtably have complications and leave scars so deep and impossible to heal that it must be seen to be better leave it as it is, like an inoperable tumor, at the heart of cool is the icy calm power of death.
And remember de-thorned roses are often less beautifull, and a de-clawed cat is useless.

An evening of one guy asking really boring questions that only interest him.

I’ve just been watching the London half of ‘An evening with Kevin Smith 2: Evening harder’ and shit, these Americans come over here and always act like we Brits are so much smatter than them, and usually I’d agree with that but on this occasion fuck me so many of the questions this audience asked were so dumb a lot of the time it seemed like they they’d never seen any of his movies and just thought ‘he’s just some funny American’ and he is but he’s had an interesting movie career and I think only about 3 maybe 4 or 5 people asked questions about his films. One guy asked him something along the lines of, if he had to be half man half sausage which way round would he have it.

If I was there I would have asked stuff like...............

‘Silent Bob is on the cover of Clerks but Jay isn’t, I’ve seen a Q and A’s where Jason Mewes says that he wasn’t invited or something, was there more to that story that you or he didn’t want to discuss at the time?’

‘I think that all the covers for your DVD’s have group photo’s on them except for Mallrats which has a kinda shitty looking collage sort of thing on it, why didn’t you use some of that kick arse comic art work on it instead?’

‘On the cover of Chasing Amy Ben Affleck doesn’t have a beard even though he does have one in the movie, what’s with that?, and also why are Jay and Bob on it even though they don’t play such a major role in it and their only in one scene?, if you needed to make up numbers why didn’t you just use the black dude, whose name at this time escapes me, he looks cool, and he’s in quite a bit of the movie and plays a more important role than Jay or Bob?’


To be continued................................................

The diary entry that tried to killed me 2

Lunch and formaldehyde

Went and got a cheese sandwich and a drink then left off for the new Damien Hirst show at the White Cube (it was split between the two White Cubes we ended up going to just the one and saying that we’d finish it off later) came in the show after getting a bit lost as usual saw the tied up and darted bull piece and felt a great shock of glee found it to be very beautiful and not in an odd way at all, wanted to touch it in fact, loved its fur, then saw the piece with the tiny skeleton in the ICU and felt a great shock of emotion, strange I did not think something so clinical could produce such feelings, everything else was pretty shit though, the paintings were boring, the cancer cell pieces were just really studenty, reminded me of the sort of thing you’d see at my old uni, as for the skinned and crucified cows or whatever they were well they were very odd, but that’s all, just odd, nothing more.

To be continued.............

Thursday, July 26, 2007

and in local news............

Man convicted of sexually harassing the paramedic who was treating him for being paralytically drunk and lying in the middle of the road. He’s given a thirteen month sentence but the guys homeless so what does he care, free room and food not much bad in that. However he’s going to sign on to the sex offenders register for the next ten years which puts down his options as to what jobs he can go for, and puts down the likelihood of him getting those that he does go for, basically meaning that he is now more likely to remain on the streets once he gets out. This can’t be good for society. Funny thing though not really funny more sorta tragic well maybe not tragic just really dumb is you’d think that cos he was so drunk [paramedics described him as having been paralytic which brings to mind a questions as to how he did it, doesn’t it] he wouldn’t be held accountable for his actions but the judge discounted this as the man had a history of drunkenness, the homeless man convicted of the crime not the judge I mean though you could believe that though couldn’t you cos his history of drunkenness, the homeless man convicted of the crime I mean not the judge, seems to me has no bearing on whether he was in control of his own actions or not.

The diary entry that tried to kill me 1

Prologue

Went out with Agent Mulder, had to meet her later than usual, as she had a last minute blood test scheduled for the terribly precise times of, between 12 and 2 o’clock. Originally intended to leave at my usual time of 11: 30 and spend the extra time hunting for rare singles, (primarily, nine inch nails) in the back streets off oxford street, and perhaps even check in at orbital comics, but alas, curse my laziness, I got up late. I would have still have had an extra 20 minutes or so to bum around before we met up, but I thought best not risk it, you know how the trains are. As it turned out we could have met up earlier, I arrived at Gordon Hill, at about 1:40, waited a few minutes and then Agent Mulder got of her bus, turned out they gave her the blood test at 11:30, lying disorganized cunts [spell checker doesn’t recognize cunts fancy that].

To be continued........

Some names have been changed in order to protect both the innocent and the guilty.

Monday, July 16, 2007


My attempt at writing a diary, or atleast a blog post about my attempt at writing a diary.

I’ve been attempting recently to write a diary. Having had a particularly eventful day I spent two maybe three days writing nearly a thousand words and I was barely over half way through, what’s more I really didn’t feel like writing anything else for the rest of the week, not the rest of that entry, not a new entry, not even a new essay for my blog, so I figured screw this, this is too much work, course it took me about two weeks to come to that conclusions and frankly I’ve practically forgotten how to write, or at least I’ve forgotten how I write, which might not be such a bad idea, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from that attempted diary entry is that I am the king of diversion, I also learned a lot about narrative, which was also good.

Writers cloak and dagger, in leu of block.

I don’t have writers blocks, its just that the words die in my head, I have writers cloak and dagger, and if any blocks are involved there being thrown by that psycho, derailing my trains of thought and logic before they have a chance to turn into anything worth speaking of, and like a lot of things in life the only way round this problem is to tire the cunt out, throw as many trains of thought at him as possible, till he falls asleep, then get his dagger and slash the fucker’s throat, you just have to remember to bury the corpse good and proper, cos you might end up tripping over it. Well that went from the sublime to the ridiculous, but both parts are true, as far as it goes.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Computer Games VS The Church of England.

Recent Sony Games ‘shoot em up’ the, I have been told by computer game nut freak friends brilliant, ‘Resistance: Fall of man’ apparently has one scene set in The Church or England (from now on CoE) controlled Manchester Cathedral, the CoE are obviously shocked appalled and apparently made go loonatic by this as they have recently said that they regard this as a, and I quote, ‘virtual desecration’. Heaven, God, and all his angels forbid the depiction of any act of violence inside a church, I mean of course apart from that dude who’s been nailed to a piece of wood. That of course is the absurdity of this case the CoE want this ‘violent game’ banned or at least suitably re-edited, and yet Christianity is a supremely violent religion in both the way it has acted over the ages and in its imagery, from the crucifixion to the inquisition, to the crusades, to the martyrdom of the saints, to the entire concept of martyrdom , Christianity glories in violence.
I don’t expect that the CoE will get anywhere with this case, not with the absurd demands that they’re making, and after all they only let minority religions dictate things like this, of course I could be wrong and it’s no laughing matter, one shouldn’t allow any religion or for that matter any institution that level of control over what we are allowed to see, and hear any more than one should allow some to gouge out you’re eyes, and poor concrete in you’re ears, of course we’ve already gone down this path, companies will usually cow tow to religious demands because they don’t want to alienate any possible customers. It seems that the demands of the market will enslave us all.

Public image Ltd, First issue, aka public image

It opens with a subtle little bass line that reminds me of ‘Siouxsie And The Banshees’ first album, this soon opens out into a barrage of effects laden riffs later borrowed by Marilyn Manson on the song song ‘misery machine’, this then breaks down, or up depending on you’re point of view into a incomprehensible and seemingly chaotic sound scape matched with an equally incomprehensible plaintive, needy, ‘Siouxsie Sioux’ esque wail, losing all of its Sex Pistols aggression and sneer and is not so much all the better for it, simply different for it, wonderfully or brilliantly hellishly so. This is not representative of the rest of the album which is by and large considerably better than this, though far less interesting to write about, though much nicer to listen to.
I’ll say no more except that religion 1 and religion 2 are lyrically and musically brilliant and incisive and that low life is fantastically uplifting and anthemic without being cliched, John Lydons vocals on this are nothing short of genius. I’ll say no more except that it is nothing short of a miracle, or an act of genius, depending on your point of view that the last track on the album the really quite disturbing ‘Fodderstompf’ is equally anthemic and not in any way annoying, listen to it and you’ll know what I mean.
I’ll say no more.

Friday, June 08, 2007

I'm sick and tired of..........

I’m sick and tired of HD and Blue Ray, people act like it’s the best thing you can possibly get but sooner or later their just going to bring out Super HD and Purple Ray, then they’ll bring out Ultra HD and Violet Ray, then they’ll bring out Super Ultra HD and Silver Ray. There’s no end to this pointless techno ilogical development soon they’ll have such a high pixel count that the human brain won’t even be able process it and if we want to watch anything we’ll all just have to re-evolve. In short this is ridiculous everybody wants such a high quality picture that they actually feel like its happening around them like what their watching is happening right in front of them, and one just starts to wonder why these uncultured dolts don’t just go to the bloody theater!
Perhaps in the search for greater entertainment realism it’ll actually make a comeback, so i suppose it isn't all bad.
"I might just point out that this comes from someone who has never actually been to the theater" the self hating snob in me says.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

more boredom drones from a music obsessive (part 2)

On top of the number of albums you have what other important factors are there in judging how much you like a particular band?

1] How many live shows have you seen? No I haven’t seen any of my favourite bands live.

2] Do you buy bootlegs as well as normal albums? Yes I have brought Marilyn Manson bootlegs and plan to by more.

3] Do you have DVD’s? Yes I have 3 Marilyn Manson DVD’s.

4] Do you have live albums? Yes I have 2 Alec Empire live albums

5] Do you hunt down old singles? Yes I do that with Marilyn Manson, and Nine Inch Nails.

6] Do you buy their albums the day they come out? Yes I do that with Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails, and Akercocke.

7] Do you hunt down non album tracks? Yes I do this with Marilyn Manson

Friday, June 01, 2007

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I walk into the middle of a conversation and, blam!

...............................................................yes Molten Boron Man, I too enjoy the pastime of going up to some on their birthday and no matter how young they are say “never mind you’ll be picking up you pension soon”

And it went on so on and so forth. Now what the hell was that about!

Terrible future happenings sent back to us through a time warp.

........................................ and in entertainment news ‘Oceans 100' has just opened at the recently re-named ‘Wrath of Cannes film festival’ deep under the surface of the super nuclear frog ravaged remains of ‘The State Formerly Known as France’. The film stars George ‘Cyber’ Clooney, Brad ‘Robo’ Pitt, ‘Danger danger’ Matt Damon, a recently cryogenically reborn Andy Garcia, Frank Sinatra Junior Junior Junior Junior Junior, and 95 of your favorite matinee quality idols including a special guest appearance by Frank Sinatra Junior Junior Junior Junior on loan from Universal/Haliburton conglomerate studios."

Take that as a warning!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Sac tre bleu Napoleon.








Thank you www.imagegenerator.com

The guess my birthday game.

Here’s a selection of interesting people who share my birthday.


1.
1906 - Kurt Gödel, Austrian mathematician (d. 1978)
2.
1916 - Ferruccio Lamborghini, Italian automobile manufacturer (d. 1993)
3.
1924 - Kenneth Kaunda, President of Zambia
4.
1928 - Yves Klein, French painter (d. 1962)
5.
1928 - Eugene M. Shoemaker, American planetary scientist (d. 1997)
6.
1930 - James Baker, American politician
7.
1937 - Saddam Hussein, President of Iraq (d. 2006)
8.
1948 - Terry Pratchett, English author
9.
1950 - Jay Leno, American comedian and television host
10.
1953 - Kim Gordon, American musician (Sonic Youth)
11.
1955 - Nicky Gumbel, British author and priest
12.
1966 - Too $hort, American rapper
13.
1958 - Hal Sutton, American golfer
14.
1960 - John Cerutti, baseball player and announcer (d. 2004)
15.
1960 - Walter Zenga, Italian footballer
16.
1968 - Daisy Berkowitz, American musician (Marilyn Manson)
17.
1972 - Violent J, Insane Clown Posse
18.
1974 - Penélope Cruz, Spanish actress
19.
1981 - Jessica Alba, American actress

Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on the person, a number of interesting people also died on my birthday, here’s a selection.


20.
1695 - Henry Vaughan, Welsh poet (b. 1621)
21.
1816 - Johann Heinrich Abicht, German philosopher (b. 1862)
22.
1841 - Peter Chanel, French saint (b. 1803)
23.
1853 - Ludwig Tieck, German writer (b. 1773)
24.
1858 - Johannes Peter Müller, German physiologist (b. 1801)
25.
1905 - Fitzhugh Lee, American Confederate general (b. 1835)
26.
1926 - Zip the Pinhead, American freak show performer (b. 1857)
27.
1945 - Benito Mussolini, Italian fascist dictator (b. 1882)
28.
1946 - Louis Bachelier, French mathematician (b. 1870)
29.
1954 - Léon Jouhaux, French labor leader, recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize (b. 1879)
30.
1964 - Rolf de Maré, Swedish art collector (b. 1888)
31.
1973 - Clas Thunberg, Finnish speed skater (b. 1893)
32.
1975 - Tom Donahue, American FM radio DJ (pioneer, freeform radio) (b. 1928)
33.
1978 - Sardar Mohammed Daoud, President of Afghanistan (b. 1909)
34.
1991 - Steve Broidy, American motion picture executive (b. 1905)
35.
1992 - Francis Bacon, Anglo-Irish painter (b. 1909)
36.
1992 - Iceberg Slim, American writer (b. 1918)
37.
1993 - Jim Valvano, American basketball coach (b. 1946)
38.
1999 - Rory Calhoun, American actor (b. 1922)
39.
1999 - Arthur Leonard Schawlow, American physicist, Nobel Prize laureate (b. 1921)
40.
1999 - Alf Ramsey, English football manager (b. 1920)


Now see if you can guess my birthday, I just need the day and the month but you can get special extra points if you guess the year as well.Remember I’m trusting you not to cheat by looking in my profile.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Liberty, Fraternity, Equality.

It seems to me (the rant from hell begins sedately enough) that Nikolas Sarkasky (Frances president elect) is little more than a facist pig, but don't get me wrong this is fascism with a small ef. It seems to me (a phrase that once sounded so sedate and polite now brisstles with rage) that he has a pathological aversion to anything even slightly left wing, which apparantly includes strikers, immigrants, students, and of course anyone who dares to take part in a protest unless of course that protest is protesting something left wing or something in one of the previously mentioned 'left wing' catogries. People say that he's a modernist, but it seems to me that if you want to progress then you build on the past, you don't try and destroy it and Sarkosky has publically stated his wish to destroy the legacy of 1960's student radicalism. He wants France to be able to compete in the world market (OK cool man, but please put down the gun, i say in my finest Parisian accent) so he wants to get rid of the 30 hour working week, fair enough some might say, but do you think he's going to put a limit on it, or do you think he's more likely to let employers set whatever hours they like without any legislative protection for the workers because of course protecting the workers from abuse isn't cost effective, and of course longer hours mean greater productiveness for the average company about town (town in this case being the global market place) If by chance these hours are just the other side proper and good and someone falls asleep because they don't have enough time to get a decent nights sleep then just dock their hours and make them stay longer to make up the time, but wait a second the money i gave them (the worker) after i docked their (still the worker) hours was a lot less than what i gave them before i docked their hours, hmmmmm that gives me an cunning idea maybe i should just pay them less then i get to keep more money and they work longer to earn the same as they were earning before, and i get more money, and they fall asleep more and and more and i pay them less and less and keep more and more for myself and pretty soon i'm not paying them anything at all, and now we're really competing i mean we're going great guns those Yanks better watch out cos there's a new cat in town (town being the global market place) and the best thing of all is that if anyone commplains then you can just call them a Communist traitor, and who ever listens to them i mean come on man this ain't Russia 19 something something cos i didn't do that well in history (but who needs history thats like so yesterday), i mean what are you gonna do send me to the work camp! Ha Ha Ha Haaaaa.

In my honour, moi?

thank you Katie & Da Katz
and www.imagegenerator.net

correction 3

In reference to my post intitled 'Well anyway....................................................'
I also stated that these labels are good thing when I should have said that they are rubbish. The only reason I thought they were good was because I thought that they would allow someone clicking on one of them to go to a list of all the bloggers who have labeled their posts with that, but all they actually do is go to another post in the same blog with the same label, so really they just work as an index, but really what they should have done was just have an indexing button that you can install on your blog, like they have a news thingy that you can install it would be much better that way, and you should be able to link your index to indexes on all the other blogs that have them, this has gone a bit out of the realms of corrections hasn’t it.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

NFNF

Some people say, 'never forgive never forget', others are more liniant with the world and they can forgive, but they never forget, but imagine if you do it the other way round so you forget but you never forgive, so you go around being angry, and holding grudges against people that you can't remember!

Correction 2

Concerning my post intitled 'Midterm ma? maaa?..... something begining with a M signifying boredom.'
Though I was correct to say that the Labour party’s recent thrashing in the local elections was no where near as bad as had been predicted it was still a thrashing and a thrashings a thrashing a thrashings a thrashing, what’s more it has also meant that they have lost power in Scotland, where most of the party’s leadership seems to come from. The party replacing them is the Scottish National Party, commonly referred to as the SNP, the interesting thing about this is that they want to break Scotland away from the rest of the UK, great I say maybe this’ll mean we can send back our Scottish politicians like Tony Blair, Gordon Brown, and Jack Straw, not that this is likely to happen as they have proportional representation in Scotland, and though the SNP got more votes than the other parties they did not get a majority of all votes and thus they will have to rule in coalition, and none of the other parties want that idea to even be on the tables. phhhhhhaaaaiaa aphhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaa thats proportional representation for you, no no no say what you like about it but for ruling a country there's nothing quite like good old semi-sonic, semi-detached, semi-democracy. Just like they have in the good old United K.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

More boredom drones from a music obsessive (part 1)

Favourite bands of mine in terms of the amount of albums I have of theirs:

Studio albums only.

All

Marilyn Manson [ 5 + 3 EP’s, 1 Collection/DVD, and 4 bootlegs ]

Slipknot [3]

Amen [3]

Akercocke [3]

Nine Inch Nails [5+ 1 EP]

American Head Charge [2]

Above 4

David Bowie [13 + 1 DVD]

Marilyn Manson [ 5 + 3 EP’s, 1 Collection, and 4 bootlegs ]

Nine Inch Nails [4 + 1 EP]

4 and under

Rage Against the Machine [3]

Akercocke [3]

Amen [3]

Ministry [3]

The Clash [3]

Napalm Death [3]

Ash [3]

The Electric Hellfire Club [2 + 1 Collection]

Darkthrone [2]

Pitchshifter [2]

Nirvana [2]

Fear Factory [2 + 1 Collection]

The Smashing Pumpkins [2 + 1 Collection]

Only 1

Thorns

Skinny Puppy

Bad Religion

Static X

The Smashing Pumpkins [+ 1 Collection]

Soft Cell [+ 1 Collection]

Murderdolls [they only have 1 album]

Sex Pistols [+1 live album] [they only have one album]

Lolita number 18

My Ruin

Alec Empire [+ 2 live albums]

Ramones [+ 1 Collection]

Emperor

Collection only

Black Flag

NON

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Correction 1

Concerning my post titled 'Nine Inch nails Year Zero'


I find that on the seventh, or is it the eighth listening, the beats of Nine Inch Nails’ ‘Year Zero’ are ever and ever less and less Alec Empire(esque) and the album as a whole is ever and ever more and more revelatory and even revolutionary it becomes to be ever and ever more and more of a sea change, and at the same time, somewhat paradoxically, the more and more I listen to it the more and more it seems to ingrain itself into the Nine Inch Nails tradition; of course really there’s nothing paradoxical about it, continued listening doesn’t simply allow you to plumb the depths of the thing itself, it also breeds familiarity with it, and with familiarity your rational mind puts it ever and ever more and more into your previously held concepts and knowledge.

Commentary

When i first started writing said peice, [Nine Inch Nails Year Zero] i had no idea that i would end up saying anything negative about the album [Year Zero] at all, i thought i would just make a series of observations, but the longer i left it the more convolluted my thoughts of it became, and so when it came time to write it, i really and truly did not know where i would be coming from, or rather i did not know how i was going to structure the peice, and unstructured writing is very much like thinking aloud, one never quite knows where it is going to go.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Final clinching proof of the non existence of God.

More diplomatically called, ‘three arguments against the possible existence of God’

Argument 1

If God is God then he must be the biggest thing possible.

If God is God then he must be separate from all things.

If God is separate from all things then he must exist completely outside of any possible thing, God must exist outside of the universe, and if God exists outside of the universe then there would be a space bigger than God, i.e. The universe plus God.

Argument 2

Some people would say that far from God having to exist separately from all things the opposite must be the case, he must exist inside of all things, but if God exists in all things then he must be indistinguishable from them, and if that is the case then one can not logically talk about any entity called God, this however is the difference between the polytheistic eastern concept of god and the monotheistic western concept of God.


Argument 3

If God is God then he must be perfect.

If God is God then he must be sentient.

If God is sentient then he must be capable of free choice, but if God is perfect then all of his choices must be perfect choices, and if all of his choices must be perfect choices then he cannot make bad choices in which case he is not truly capable of free choice, in which case he is not sentient.


God can still have the qualities of all knowingness and all powerfulness, but these are of little use to him without the quality of existence.


“Oh dear” says God and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Mommy smack bad Tony

I tell you that git Tony Blair, he such a baby 'Me no wanna go, me nooooo wanna goooo!' 'Now come on Tony its time to let Gordon play Prime Monkey' 'Don't wanna, i hate gordon' 'Now Tony you know thats not true, you love Gordon' 'I love George, Gordon, smells' 'Well then he should be well suited to playing Prime monkey, now are you going to give it up or do i have to take it from you?' 'its mine, its mine, iiitttttttsssss mmiiiinnneee!' and so on and so forth.
'Wah Waaaaaaah', says british public.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Midterm ma? maaa?..... something begining with a M signifying boredom.

We just had our midterm elections over here in blighty, and i thought... well i won't bother to pay much attention to them, barely knew they were happening infact, i mean i'm a voter but they weren't happening where i live, so i couldn't vote, i don't live in some wierd Vatican like enclave its just that they are staggered over here, or so i would imagine they are, on second thought maybe i do live in a Vatican like enclave, its called London pleased to meet you, so anyway i didn't really care, midterms never make a dent in the political spectrum, and they never really change anything.................... but then i remembered the most recent mid terms in the US................ didn't the Democrats fend off everyones predictions of another boring mid term by winning The House? If you have a very poor memory and don't remember, then the answer is yes, yes they did that thing, they took The House, they fought them here they thought them there they stormed the beaches and they came out triumphant, it almost brings a tear to the eye.......................................... no such luck for UK, Labour were given a bit of a thrashing but not as big a one as everyone was predicting, same old same old, same old same old.

take advantage of the absence of the devil and he, or in this case she, will come.

So i'm at work and my boss has been gone for sometime and i don't have anything to do and so i'm getting a bit bored to say the least, so i start to think maybe i should use the free time to post something on here, and so i start composing it in my head and i'm about half a line in, or so, and in she walks all fire and fury and brimstone and red glowing pride with her tail and pitch fork..........well allright she isn't actually the devil, just a bit analyretentive, if that how you spell it, she's allright though, well maybe...............

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Phat joke about fat people.

How do fat guys pull?

They have their own gravitational field, so occasionally girls just get pulled into orbit.

The Punishment of Strength 2

An epic narrative exploration of the effects of egalitarianism on certain individuals living within society.
The punishment of intelligence.

Disruptive children are rewarded with attention whereas quite children are ignored.
Weaker students are rewarded with attention regardless of whether there is any hope of improvement, whereas the stronger students are ignored or to put it another way they are punished for their intelligence. The consequences of this is that the stronger students eventually gain much resentment and lose much faith in the system and as a consequence of this they stop caring and stop trying and thus they end up being weaker academically than those who are less intelligent than them, worse even than those who are considerably less intelligent than them. I would put forward a supposition that this is irony, though more ironic than that is that this is the best probable consequence that one can hope for, there are far worse ones, and that is an irony in itself.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

another blog? yes another blog, why shouldn't i, you have 5 yourself you know? well allright no need to get snippy, i'm just saying.

I’m thinking of starting another blog, bringing the total to four, five if you include my one totally inactive, or rather, unused blog, blog from the bog. It’ll be totally dedicated to the lyrics that I’ve written over the years. I’ve put off doing something like this for sometime now, basically because I’ve always been worried about bands taking them and using them without my permission, I don’t really have a lot of knowledge of copyright law so this is justified to a certain degree. However I recently learned that in America, where blogspot, or blogger if you will, is based, you get automatic copyright, or ownership rights, or something like that on anything that you write so those fears have been dispelled, somewhat at least, I still don’t know much about copyright law, let alone international copyright law. This of course, leaves just this one nagging doubt, putting my lyrics out as poetry, written word without music, wouldn’t that be an admission of defeat, like me saying to you, “yeh I know I’m never going to form that band, you where right all along, I admit it damn you.” But increasingly I’m starting to think that if I put myself forward more as a musician and lyricist then maybe it’ll put that problem to rest. For the last few years I’ve plowed on with my own music without that aid of band mates maybe its time I did the same thing with my lyrics.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

The Punishment of Strength 1.3

An epic narrative exploration of the effects of egalitarianism on certain individuals living within society.
The Stoic child part 3
Starting point
The unhappy noisy child is rewarded with attention, the happy stoic child is punished by not getting any.

Consequences
The happy stoic child remains stoic but does not keep his happiness for long, no more than anyone could. Then his stoicism ebbs away replaced by extreme introversion and resentment, he resents his parents and all of his contemporaries regardless of what ever personal pain they may have, he is unable to notice such things and why would he?; as he grows up these feelings grow and deepen he resents not just his parents and contemporaries but society and everyone in it regardless of whatever personal pain any such member may or may not have, he has never noticed such things, and why would he have? The resentment burns ever deeper, his stoicism grows ever weaker, and resentment turns to rage without the temperance of a super ego. He talks to few people and unable to make connections has no outlets, he has little stoicism left but its enough to keep him bottled up.Such people often explode and if you care a jot for the poor beggar’s mental health you’ll pray that this happens sooner rather than later and that he learns quickly to channel his violence against deserving targets. This is from that perspective the best outcome second best is that he develops a taste for violence and employs it whenever angry, worst and most likely of all outcomes is that he never does explode, society is happiest with this outcome, it is least disruptive and produces the particular neurosis that causes the neurotic to become a great cog in the wheel of the economy. It can therefore be seen that it is not within societies best interests to encourage this particular aspect of good parenting.