I was lying in bed last night [allthough some would consider it morning] listening in utter anoyance to all the little sounds that houses make the plip plops the gurglings the clicks and clunks and so on and so forth and i realised just how much i crave scilence total utter and complete scilence. It is strange to think that it used to be the other way about, i would as a child sleep over at freinds houses and would often find that i could not get to sleep because there were no trains going past, perhaps this was just a perfectly normal craving for the things that you are used to common to most children in the feelings of home sickness but perhaps not perhaps it is about having a fear of you're own thoughts of being left on you're own with them and nothing to distract you from them and perhaps my anoyance last night is proof that i have got over this weakness [or indeed weaknesses the two theorys i have just put forward are not after all mutually exlusive] but in any case what is beyond doubt i think is that i know for whatever reason crave scilence i either want sounds to exist in the forground or not atall.