‘Stop it, or else God will destroy the world. Stop swearing,stop picking you’re noses, stop wearing odd socks, stop looking atnaked animals, we must make woollen trousers and jackets for allof Gods animals, we should have done that a long time ago, stoptelling jokes, especially knock- knock jokes, stop using microwaveson Sunday, its obscene, stop eating with you’re fingers, I mean it,stop belching, stop farting, stop lying and jumping the lights, bringback capital punishment and public flogging, stop having sex orthinking about sex, stop being slovenly, stop drinking all alcoholicbeverages, in fact stop drinking anything except carrot juice.The date is set. The end of the world is coming. Repent!’

this is taken from a book that i'm reading at the moment called Scepticism inc by someone with the strange name of Bo Fowler.
put it on you're reading list.